so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
