So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
