I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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