Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize