that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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