Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
