Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize