I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
