Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its not stalking. its research.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
home. puking in laundry basket.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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