My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
