Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
