If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
