using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
