Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
