its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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