I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Michael Bay diarrhea
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
