So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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