Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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