Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
