first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
