She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
