i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
