"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
