apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize