bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i believe in u and ur pee
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
