Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
