I could make wine with my vomit
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
