I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
