Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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