In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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