he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
how drunk are you?
Several
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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