The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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