i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
