it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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