so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
