I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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