a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
that may or may not have been my penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
