TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
