You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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