He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
