So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
