eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
