Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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