Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
