FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You pole danced in your parka.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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