I don't think brook has ever known best
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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