i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
