no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
