We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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