had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
