Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Are my feet made of real feet?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
