i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
