and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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