Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
