wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
