C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
