in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
